Is Valentine’s Day, the day of love, changing because of how social media is affecting the way we experience relationships?

For centuries, Valentine’s Day was the holiday of romance and love. Hearts, chocolates, candies, rainbows and bears all added to the fun of the day. The celebration dates back 650 years to the late 14th century, although its commercialization only really began in the early 20th Century, when Hallmark released its first cards in 1916.

Now, Valentine’s Day seems to be changing again. Research from Capital One Bank shows Valentine’s Day participation has declined 11.1% from the 2009 record of 63% of consumers celebrating.

Commentators have also noted the changing way in which Gen Z approaches Valentine's Day, from the "soft launch" — suggesting a relationship without the performativity of the big reveal — to self-care driven by TikTok "hauls."

One survey shows that 65% of young Americans feel the pressure from social media in relationships, while Gen Z is simply losing interest in what used to be that special day.

“I do think that social media, music and pop culture as a whole have a big influence,” says Ricardo Ray, a CSU senior double majoring in dance and psychology. “There’s literally a song called ‘Fucc Valentines.”

For Ray, being around loved ones and feeling the love is just as good whether it comes from friends or a significant other. He sees the joy in the holiday as spreading the chocolate hearts to anyone he loves.

“I try to make time for my friends and devote my time to my studies and work, so I am very busy," Ray adds. "If love comes from my friendships, that’s more than fine with me until my significant other comes.” 

How much has social media and popular culture changed the idea of love?

Popular culture is always a good measure of what's happening. And the trend with love was clear more than a decade ago.

Then, we had songs like J. Cole’s “G.O.M.D.” coming off his Grammy-nominated album “2014 Forest Hill Drive.” The album takes listeners on a thrilling voyage. “G.O.M.D.,” speaks about how no one sings about love any more, while everyone is screaming with their hands in the air at nightclubs.

On that same album, the nine-times platinum song “Wet Dreamz” confuses adolescent insecurity with love. Compare that to 2007, when Keshia Cole cries out in “Heaven Sent” that she wants to be the one that her partner sees when he or she imagines the pearly gates.

Is romance dying, or at the very least changing. Artists like Cardi B and Sexyy Red seem to be changing how we think about the pink and red holiday.

Lyrics from Cardi B include “I’m going out, on the pop-out cause it’s hot out. You was playin’ game, now you on timeout.” It's a declaration of post-breakup independence and empowerment.

The music we listen to often captures who we are. Are we now choosing independence over chocolates in a heart-shaped box? Has Valentine's Day become a call to spend more time with friends? Something a little more authentic, while still respecting Cupid's call to love?

“Valentine’s Day on campus for me is about going out and having fun," says Leila Elise, a CSU sophomore. "I feel like that is everyone’s intention, even if you are in a relationship. I’m single and wanna party with other singles while the Valentine lovers are on their dates.”